My Love/Hate Relationship with Bali
Four months ago my son and I moved to Bali. It’s been a busy period with too much time spent hunting for a villa, starting a new school, travel to Vietnam and family visiting for two months
Now that I can finally take a breather, I wanted to record my thoughts and observations on Bali.
At the moment, I’d best describe my feelings as one of love/hate. Bali might be the island of the Gods but it is not paradise. At least not in the traditional sense depicted in films like “Eat, Pray, Love” and “Ticket to Paradise”, the latest Julia Roberts movie that takes place in Bali but was shot in Australia. For one, the water is not turquoise. Far from it. In fact, many of the beaches in Bali are downright dirty filled with plastic debris and stray dogs. There may be some undiscovered beaches on the main island with nice water but I haven’t found them. We had to travel off of the mainland to islands like Nusa Lembongan and Nusa Penida. And even there, you can’t always see through to the bottom.
Despite the disappointing beaches, Bali also has lots to love.
Here’s a list of the things I hate about Bali followed by a list of what I love most about the island.
MY BALI HATE LIST:
- TRASH: Before coming to Bali, what I feared most was snakes and bugs. Neither have proven to be a problem. Not yet at least. The biggest problem with Bali, in my view, is over-development, which has led to a whole host of issues – most notably an incredible amount of garbage and debris. It’s everywhere – the beaches, the oceans, the rivers and even on jungle walks!
- TRAFFIC: The second biggest problem is the bumper to bumper traffic. The sheer volume of cars and motorbikes on the road spewing toxic gases is one of the most unexpected things about Bali. The problem is most acute in the tourist hotspot of Canggu, where the traffic literally does not move at certain times of the day. But it’s also bad in Seminyak, Denpasar and Ubud. Yes, there are parts of the island that are less busy but many travelers on short-term visits don’t have the time to explore the more remote parts of the island, which can be quite far from the main airport. One time, the congestion was so bad, my father’s Gojek driver refused to go any further. He hustled my father out of the car and onto a motorbike so he could weave through the traffic and get to his destination. It was one of the only times I heard of a Balinese losing his cool.
- OVERPRICED VILLAS: Many people move to Bali in the hopes of finding affordable housing. Those days are over – at least in the main expat areas of Canggu and Ubud. Prices have exploded in the past year. Listings for mediocre villas now rival prices for homes in many top-tier European and U.S. cities. It could be a classic case of supply and demand but many blame greedy real-estate agents who have been known to markup listings substantially.
- DESPERATE CATS AND DOGS: The hardest thing to witness in Bali for animal lovers like myself is the desperate state of many of the cats and dogs on the island. Many are missing fur, have broken limbs and are emaciated. Many animal welfare groups are trying their best to find homes for these animals and care for them but they are faced with an endless supply of needy animals because sterilization rates are so low. It makes walking through neighborhoods a heartbreaking experience for many.
- THERE ARE ONLY TWO SEASONS: Hot and hot with rain. It’s almost impossible to get a shine free face because you’re basically sweating bullets all day and every day. The humidity is overwhelming. The upside is that it’s easy to lose weight because with that much heat and humidity, you don’t have much of an appetite.
MY BALI LOVE LIST:
- THE BALINESE: Without a doubt, the most wonderful thing about Bali is the Balinese. Despite horrendous traffic, pollution and hardship, the Balinese keep smiling. They seemingly never lose their temper and have the patience of a saint. They’re also incredibly resourceful. You want a tree in your bathroom? No problem! Within hours of asking for one, a Balinese will show up with a palm tree and pot that he’s bought at the market and will transport it to you on the back of his motorbike for less than 7 dollars! I don’t know if it’s their strong belief in karma but the Balinese are remarkably kind and generous. On numerous occasions, I have had to rely on the kindness of strangers to get out of a bind. The Balinese have calmly helped me sort out whatever issue I’ve been facing and refused payment of any kind. They also have lots of wisdom to impart. Whenever I lament the sorry state of the animal situation and fret about what to do about a particular cat or a particular dog, a Balinese has told me “You can only do what you can. Once you have done your part, you must let go of trying to control the situation.” Non-attachment. I’m not good at that. But I’m taking notes from the Balinese. Baby steps.
- THE EXPATS: The expat community is a long-established one in Bali and for good reason. It was once a very affordable place to live and before it became over-developed, it was beautiful. There are still lovely spots but they’re harder to find. There’s a thriving arts scene here and Bali’s spiritual roots attracts a certain kind of expat – the kind that is searching for something – reinvention, a different way of life. Many of the expats I have met have gone through something – an illness that made them rethink their entire value system, a divorce, the death of a family member. You’ll find many “life coaches” here who seem to combine eastern philosophies with western notions of entrepreneurship. The conversations about life choices are endlessly interesting.
- THE MASSAGES AND FACIALS: I have always said that I want to retire in a place where I could afford getting a massage every day. Bali is one of those places. For less than seven U.S. dollars, you can get a cheap and cheerful one hour deep-tissue massage in a no-frills spa. For 15 dollars, you can get it done in a fancy spa that wouldn’t look out of place in New York City. And these ladies know what they’re doing. Within minutes they’ve zeroed in on that knot and worked the shit out of it!
- The facials are equally epic. My favorite are the ones given at Muka, where you get a 90-minute facial with a turmeric mask and an inner mouth massage. It leaves you positively glowing!
- THE RESTAURANTS AND COFFEESHOPS: Eating out is de rigueur in Bali. It’s also smart budgeting. Turns out it’s cheaper to go out than cook in. And you have a massive selection of cuisines to choose from. There’s Indonesian of course, but there’s also Thai, Japanese, Korean, Indian, Italian, Mediterranean, burgers and more. And the décor in many of these places is divine: rattan hanging lamps, teak wood tables and candlelight. Dining and hanging out in coffeeshops is one of my favorite Bali things.
- THE YOGA: Whether you go to the highly commercialized Yoga Barn in Ubud or you’ve found your own hidden-away shala, the yoga in Bali is top notch. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, there’s something for everyone. There’s hatha, vinyasa, flying yoga, sound therapy, ecstatic dance, Tibetan bowls mediation – and the list goes on. All of it is fantastic.
- THE RICE TERRACES: Visually, there’s nothing that symbolizes Bali more than its verdant rice paddies. The crop is a staple and has sustained the island for thousands of years. Walking among the terraces of Jatiluwih, which have been deemed a UNESCO World Heritage site, is an otherworldly experience. Especially if it’s in low season when it’s less crowded. You feel as though you have it all to yourself. Heaven.
- THE RESORTS: The Balinese know good hospitality. From the wet towel on arrival to the welcome drink, the second you arrive, you feel like a pampered princess. Bali has an incredible variety of beautiful resorts – from western brands like the Four Seasons to Asian brands like Padma and Alila to independently run hotels like Soori. They are all exquisite. Prices can be astronomical at some resorts but at others you can get a real bang for your buck. For the same price as a Marriott in Washington D.C., we stayed in a five-star 2-bedroom villa with its own pool and a view of the sea and a volcano.
- THE MOTORCYCLE RIDES: One of my favorite activities in Bali is to drive my silent, electric motorbike from Canggu to Ubud, which takes about an hour. I especially love those early morning rides past rice paddies and through small villages. It’s that magical time of day when life begins to stir and you witness the women in their sarongs presenting Canang Sari, offerings of thanks to the Hindu gods. It’s in those moments, that I feel most free.
- THE SUNSETS: Watching the sun set on the Indian Ocean is a thing in Bali. At around 5:00 p.m. every day people flock to the beach to witness the ending of another day. They often watch in silence. For good reason. The giant flaming red ball that dips into the sea takes your breath away.
As you can see, there are many more things that I love about Bali than what’s on the hate list.
But being exposed to the traffic, heat, trash and desperate animals on a daily basis is tough – physically and emotionally.
I have to remind myself that living abroad isn’t always meant to be easy. Part of the experience is being uncomfortable, being out of your element and overcoming the challenges.
It’s also about gaining a new appreciation for the things I have and the great fortune I’ve been given simply by being born in a developed country.
The fresh air and clean rivers of Vermont look mighty good when you’re stuck in bumper to bumper traffic in Canggu.
Nevertheless, I still feel we have so much more to learn about Bali and its magical people. For now we’re staying. I don’t know exactly for how long. Perhaps that’s the point. Go with the flow. That seems to be the only way to live here and perhaps anywhere.
2 Comments
Katie Benedict
What an amazing summation. I always tend to revert back to those experiences/countries that are as challenging as they are delightful. I want to visit even more now. I do not even know what an inner mouth massage is….
Mona Agia
I have visited Bali in 1971 and it was paradise! I just watched a program yesterday on Bali on french TV and all you say is 100% right.
Thank you for this wonderfully put together analysis of Bali.
Regards Mona